My very first experience with Argentine Tango was going to a milonga. I was completely enchanted by the beautiful, festive setting which, in one night, made me completely determined to learn to dance.
After experimenting a bit, I’ve concluded it’s great for beginners to go to a real milonga early in their Tango life. In courses I’ve facilitated, we take beginners to a milonga in their first few weeks. They love seeing the “real world” and experiencing the setting that their classes are preparing them for.
Here are some tips on how you can help your new community members make their first milonga a beautiful, fun, interesting, and most importantly stress-free experience.
Tips for taking beginners to their first milonga
1) Plan a group outing. Even if you don’t have a program or course, try to organize a tiny group of beginners - even just two or three! This helps beginners feel less alone and have a chance to bond with others at their level through this rite of passage.
2) Choose a restaurant milonga. If your community has one, it’s great to take your beginners to a milonga that takes place in a bar or restaurant, so they can enjoy and bond over drinks and snacks. This is less awkward than a milonga where everyone is sitting on chairs side-by-side.
3) Let your intermediate dancers know. If you have a tango buddy program, be sure to let buddies know about the outing and invite them. In fact, why not let your whole community know? It creates such great vibes when you make a great showing at a fellow organizer’s milonga, and it’s great for beginners to meet more friendly community members outside of class.
4) Let the organizer know you’re coming. It’s a great idea to inform the host that you’ll be coming with a few beginners. Their warm welcome can make a huge difference for a nervous new community members. Some wonderful organizers even offer first-timers discounts, and they may be able to help your group find/reserve a table.
5) THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DANCE. This is probably the most surprising tip! But after experimenting with beginner milonga field trips for awhile, we discovered that the imagined (or real) pressure to dance, and dance successfully, was really stressful for beginners at their first milonga and a real drain on the evening. This expectation is actually quite unrealistic for dancers who fancy themselves as leaders. Telling everyone they are not ALLOWED to dance at their first milonga removes ALL that stress. (And of course, you yourself can leave early, reminding them they are STILL not allowed to dance — the ones who are really ready will most likely just do it anyway ;)
6) Give them things to “research.” I’ve found it very helpful to give people specific things to research at their first milonga, so they feel they have something to do and they know how to direct their attention. A milonga is a very dense context with a ton of cultural information. You can give them research assignments:
Research the music. Give them tasks that will help them notice patterns like TTMTTV or cortinas.
Observing the dancers. Give them specific things to look for in leaders, followers, or the ronda in general — either qualities, moods, or specific movements.
Observing non-dancers. Have them see if they can figure out how people ask for/invite/decline dancers and discover cabeceo for themselves.
Meeting people and asking them things. You can give them questions to ask the DJ, host, and other guests that help them learn about the history of local tango.
7) Tell stories. This is a great time to share your favorite, happiest, and most embarrassing milonga stories. It helps them relate to you and get insight on what they might expect.
I hear that in the Golden Age, a new dancer’s “first milonga” was a really important rite-of-passage, and that those who cared about and sponsored him made a real effort to help him have a great experience. Times are different now, but that level of loving care and welcome will always carry meaning, and will play a critical role in building a great community.