Texts for a new time returns with an actual book recommendation, after a wild detour into other media. Today’s text for a new time is a really exciting and practical book: Let’s Decide Together: Practicing Sociocracy with Children by Hope Wilder, published by Sociocracy For All in 2021.
There is a part of me that is infuriated with the whole world for not systematically consulting with children about the most important things, getting their input, involving them in decisions that affect them.
But when you get right now to it, it’s not altogether clear how best to consult with them.
What kinds of things can kids decide about?
How old does a kid need to be to participate in decision-making?
How long should decision-making meetings with children be?
What is the recommended group size for a child-inclusive decision-making meeting?
Hope Wilder to the rescue. Her handbook, Let’s Decide Together is simple! practical! useful! A cookbook for inclusivity! A workable guide that, if applied correctly, is an utter takedown of all the less-kid-friendly governance systems out there being deployed everywhere from schools to family meetings.
Deciding together. It’s the inverse of antediluvian authoritarianism. It’s the happy synthesis of adversarial majoritarianism (majority rule voting) and tyrannical minoritarianism (consensus). And, it doesn’t need long words to be understood. I mean, what a great title! Let’s decide together.
This book is based on a ton of actual, practical experience in the field (school; home) with actually including children in actual decision-making. Here are some thing I love about it:
It has minimum viable theory; it is all about the how-to.
It provides easy-to-use templates for the seven main types of decision-making meetings that kids can be involved in.
The visual design is super digestible with clear and reader-friendly tables, diagrams, and lists.
It weaves in many real-life examples, and even sample scripts, so you can get a feel for how this approach looks like in a real home or school or town.
I’ve been practicing applying these principles in lots of places, from quick car-meetings with tiny humans to get in synch before outings, to consenting to agreements for around iPad use. It has changed how I think about decision-making with kids; it has freed me up to involve kids in light, quick, playful, developmentally appropriate ways.
Consent-based decision making is great for all ages
As you apply these principles with kids, you might realize that deciding together, using a structured participatory process like sociocracy, is a great approach for decision-making with non-kids too. I mean, really — are we so different?
Like kids, adults need fairness, inclusion, clarity, fun, and want their voices to be heard.
Like kids, adults want to efficiently discover the best ideas that meet everyone’s needs.
Most of our inherited decision-making processes don’t help us meet these basic needs, but sociocracy does. If your interest is piqued by this, check out other wonderful resources on sociocracy for kids and grown-ups.
A free resource library to help you explore and practice sociocracy in your organization, Sociocracy 3.0
A beautiful 90-minute documentary film, School Circles, on how sociocracy is actually used today in schools across The Netherlands, created by Wondering School
An incredibly mind-opening, inspiring, short e-book by Edwin M. John, the grandfather of the Children’s Parliament movement, on applying these principles at the neighborhood level, titled Hello, Neighbourocracy!
The practice of inclusive, participatory decision-making is doable and joyful. It’s paving the way for a better world. I hope you’ll read Let’s Decide Together and apply these principles wherever children are present, and pass it along to educators, parenting coaches, moms and dads.