Incubator #105 | Finding awe, finding flow
This summer, what do you want to give your attention to? A few inspirations
The Mitra Martin Incubator is a newsletter dedicated to world-building and cultivation, helping the seeds of the future (work, education, parenting, and housing) be seen and grow.
Setting wise limits around how we will use devices and media is a worthwhile exercise. And at the same time, it’s just as important to envision what we want to give our attention to instead.
Your sacred attention
We can heal the fragmentation of our attention. It wants to be healed. And I think we accelerate this by choosing experiences that give us an experience of wholeness.
Everyday awe
If your mind feels dulled-out or phone-addled, or if you find your thoughts looping again and again around some fiddly grievance, consider inviting awe into your life.
Dacher Keltner’s research on awe shows that it’s an ordinary mystical emotion that we can access every day if we look for it. And it doesn’t have to be some epic event; it can be as simple as an “awe walk” he describes here!
Time in nature, and gorgeous music, are two kinds of experiences that evoke awe. Another is called collective effervescence, the experience of physical joy with other people — one of my favorites! Open your eyes to awe and let me know how it goes.
The love language of flow
If you know me, you probably know that shared flow states are my love language. Whether dancing tango, cooking together, or being on a really attuned Zoom call, I can’t get enough of that experience of joint undivided attention.
So I was excited to learn that people are studying this experience. “Social flow is a shared, contagious form of flow associated with highly interdependent and collaborative group processes.” I found it affirming to learn about all benefits of social flow (it’s SO good for you), and thought-provoking to discover what conditions enable it. Here’s a paper by Charles Walker, thanks to Liz Sabatiuk’s Humans of Tango podcast.
So next time you’re in a conversation with a kid, coworker, or loved one, consider removing all technoference so you have the chance to find that yummy flow state!
The tech conscious family
Respecting our children means listening to them, seeking to understand their experiences and needs, and engaging them in dialogue about technology. We need to include kids’ voices as we explore how to establish new, healthier smartphone norms.
Here are three great pointers for effectively partnering with kids:
In Common Sense Media’s great School’s Out! Reset Your Family's Tech Habits This Summer, Dr. Jacqueline Nesi and Dr. Emily Weinstein encourage engaging kids in a values sort activity, co-playing tech games with them, and co-creating durable home and school tech policies with them.
Social media bans distract from the real issue. In this article, this stood out: “Bans have the tendency of preventing, delaying or displacing important conversations with children and young people about their safe, productive, creative and enjoyable participation in online spaces.” What if we leaned into education?
In this Design for Children’s Rights podcast, Michael Preston from the Joan Ganz Cooney Center speaks to how co-design research with kids can help shape better products. He shares a story in which children worked with designers to help them build a messaging app that empowered kids to take action when they witnessed meanness or anti-social behaviors.
Quote that sums it up
“Since I’m not a technophone, I think we should be able to use the resources of the digital for advancing humanity’s education. But I do feel that in order to be able to use those resources, we need exceedingly well-trained minds.” - Gayatri Spivak
In closing, I wish you peace of mind today. I don’t think we need more anxiousness, oversimplification, or paternalism. In flow-moments with friends and awe-walks, I have found so much reason to be optimistic about our world and its potentials. Thank you for giving me the chance to share these thoughts with you!
