A simple way to connect intentionally with someone you care about
Introduction to the handheld double labyrinth
I’ve taught tango to thousands of people — and in the process, I’ve learned that tango, as magical as it is, isn’t for everyone.
As I’ve learned more about labyrinths I’ve discovered that they provide an even more accessible portal to the experience of sacred interdependence that I love so much about tango. Labyrinths invite us into an experience of embodying connection to oneself, each other, and the world. And you can participate just by lifting a finger.
Today, in preparation for World Labyrinth Day in a week, I’ll share with you how you can use a double labyrinth to connect with people you care about.
What is a double labyrinth?
A double labyrinth is a pattern made up of two individual labyrinths. It can be built directly onto the earth as a walking labyrinth, or made of wood or another substance, small enough to fit in your hands. You can even draw one on paper.
Here is my double labyrinth, made of bamboo. We use a stylus or finger to walk it.
Who can use a double labyrinth?
Almost anyone of any age or ability can use a handheld double labyrinth. Although you can work with it on your own, in this piece I’d like to share ideas about how you might use it with another person.
You can use the double labyrinth with anyone you’d like to connect more intentionally with. For instance, with a collaborator or partner; with your child or parent; with your sister or brother. You can use it with someone who is physically present with you, or someone who’s far away, via video chat.
Why try a double labyrinth?
A double labyrinth can help you connect with yourself in the company of another.
It can open up the space you share — the full field of possibilities between you and the other person. It can broaden the choices of what you might explore or talk about. It can help you step out of thinking and planning, beyond ingrained patterns or habits you and your partner may have a tendency to enact.
You can use it as a preparation for deeper or more complex collaboration with your partner. You might find it helpful to use when you are experiencing friction with your partner.
Or it might just be something you do before breakfast with your little brother.
How you can walk a double labyrinth with a partner
Here are some ideas for how to use the labyrinth with a partner. (These guides are for youth and adult participants; I like to let young children explore the labyrinth pretty freely.)
Prepare:
Warm up and open the labyrinth by touching it gently with your hand.
It’s helpful to formulate a question before entering the labyrinth. What do you want to learn about your partner, about this relationship, about this moment? You don’t need to share the question with your partner, but you can if you want. Or, you can come up with a question together.
Walk:
As you walk to the center, let your attention rest with your question.
When you are in the center, allow yourself to open up to new ideas.
As you return, you may discover ways you want to enact the new.
Integrate:
Once you’re both are done with the walk (no rush!), take time to take in what took place in the walk. You may want to reflect on it in silence with your partner; you may feel drawn to exchange verbally about it right away; you might instead do something together, like taking a walk or sharing a tea, and see what each person wishes to share. No problem if one person chooses to share more than the other one; asymmetries can be part of exploring this relationship.
Explorations on the path
I love the dance of gently tuning in to my partner’s field, while remembering myself. It’s like an invitation to pace yourself to your partner’s pace while also setting a pace that works for you. There’s this funny play of lead and follow, a weird tango that emerges right here on a new kind of circular dance floor. And as with my tango, I am practicing being present; being true.
Yet, I’ve barely scratched the surface of all the beautiful ways there are to work with and learn from the double labyrinth! I am sure that if you engage it with curiosity and respect, it will guide you. Here are some possible explorations:
You could try closing your eyes as you walk the labyrinth — how does this change things?
Or, what if you visually focus on your partner’s finger walk while you carry on walking on your own?
You may be drawn to explore how things change when you and/or your partner use your non-dominant hand, or a different finger, or a stylus. Which will you choose and why?
May the experience bring you joy and deepen your connections with those you care about.
Oh, and P.S. If you’re looking for a labyrinth to walk for World Labyrinth Day, check out the magical Worldwide Labyrinth Locator.